Top 10 Things I Wish People Knew About Waiters

by Kathleen Harris, Used with Permission

The top 10 things I wish people knew about waiters:

#10 – I have to tip out 3% of my GROSS SALES (not tips – sales!) to other staff. The percentage depends on the restaurant but in many restaurants the waiters are truly the ones paying the hostesses, busboys and we have to tip the bartenders too (even though they make a ton more than us)! (Hostesses & busboys are also getting $2.13/hour plus some of my tips, there is a reason they are all 15.)

#9 – Min. wage for a waiter is $2.13/hour and the government takes all of that. My paycheck says “This is not a check” on it each pay period. Please stop reading me the riot act that you make $5+/ hour and I make $5+/hour so why should you tip me more? I DON’T make $5/hour, also see #10.

#8 – Regardless of what I make the government assumes I make 10% per table and taxes me accordingly. Please get off your high horse about waiters reporting honestly. After #10 and #8 I’m almost always taxed over what I make. If I can use the occassional cash tip to try to slide that back down to what I really make why are you all riled up about it?

#7 – I really appreciate that 20% tip but you sat at 1 of my only 2 tables for 4 hours on a Friday night. You might have given me $4 on a $20 check but you probably cost me about $60 so don’t see me doing cartwheels over your 4 bucks. Don’t get me wrong, you have the right to sit there, and I will courteously wait on you. But please be aware that you are really hurting me financially. Is it possible that you could do your taxes, grade that paper, or read that book at home? at the bar? in a park? maybe the library? Or maybe a random Tuesday? Do you HAVE to sit there on a Friday night? I know that you don’t care, but when someone is mean to you at your job because THEY don’t care repeat after me: Karma. You’re getting what you’re spreading.

#6 – Sections vary per restaurant too but the average Applebees type I probably have 3 tables. In an upscale place 2. In a really upscale place 1. Just so you know why we don’t seat you when there is 1 person there wanting enough tables for a party of 20. When the other 19 arrive you can sit. Otherwise 10 servers are going on welfare while you sit at your enormous table all alone.

#5 – I’m sorry the kitchen didn’t cook your steak right, I’m sorry management said something that annoyed you. They are both on salary and quite honestly probably don’t genuinely care. I am not on salary and I did my best to fix it. Don’t punish me for their bad work. You never saw the over cooked chicken fingers I refused to bring out. You didn’t see the really rare steak that was suppose to be well done that I told them to keep cooking without even attempting delivery. I don’t have xray vision and if you needed to cut into the food to know that it was wrong, then I didn’t know either. Think of the average amount of mistakes your office makes a day and then the amount you see when out. That discrepancy is because I’m fixing it before you even see it.

#4 – Let me fix it. I can’t know something is wrong if you never tell me. Your salad had the wrong dressing (it was blue cheese and not ranch, well, it was white to me. I don’t dip my finger into your salads!) the steak was a little over cooked, your sundae had nuts and you’re allergic so you just pretended to be full. Then it’s bill time and you’re mad. Maybe you just left 5%, maybe you read me the riot act about everything that was wrong then. Would it have killed you to tell me? I would have cheerfully gotten you a new salad, a new steak AND a new dessert. But the menu says “with nuts” and I assumed that you wanted it that way. You would have been a nut-lover and mad if I left them off just in case. Say it with me “no nuts please” and if the kitchen puts nuts on it and I don’t notice (cause, hey that happens sometimes, sometimes you have to assume that the kitchen followed the instructions, I don’t have it ALL memorized) then let me know and I will take it back. I am committed to making you happy – you pay me. But sulking helps neither of us.

#3 – If I ignored your dry drink glass, if I was rude about getting you a new sundae, if I rolled my eyes when you said “no tomatoes” etc then I can see a lesser tip. I’m not defending those who did bad service. But I didn’t do those things. Hell I’ll get you a new dish if you simply don’t like yours. An experiment gone awry. But if in the end of the day you just had a bad night out (maybe you fought with your honey over the entree) but I did my job, then 10% covers my expenses that is for bare boned I officially did my job service. 15% helps me pay a few bills of my own and is for good service. If I killed myself for you 20% is what I need to really survive.

#2 – Lets recap those expenses: the government is taking taxes on 10% even if you stiff me; I have to give 3% to other staff so I’ve only made 7% now;

am I in a dress shirt? Yeah they make me dryclean that at 1.50 a shirt; if I’m in a normal shirt I still need to wash it and chances are I live in an apt at 1.50 a load. We all have to wear clean clothes to work, but I don’t come to your work and have a food fight in your cube and then make you sweep and scrub up after my sick or exuberant baby. Have you priced dress shirts lately? Butter sauce doesn’t come out you know; did you sit for 4 hours nursing a cup of coffee? Have you heard of coffee bars where they like that? You cost me at least 3 other tables. Sort of like when your coworker sat on documentation you needed and cost you the sale, the promotion, the raise. Did you like being cost stuff because someone elses actions? Yeah, me neither.

I have a Masters degree. Yeah that’s right, a Masters. If the server looks past college age they probably have a brain and an education. Did you read about all the layoffs in the papers? Have you flipped through the help wanted PAGE lately? Serving you a burger isn’t my dream job, it’s what I do to eat. Stop saying “Well you chose it” No actually I chose to be a billionaire financial tycoon, sadly that was taken. I would have a nest egg going if I could get you to pay me. You need to leave what you feel is right. But if you leave me 10% I may not eat this week. If you stiff me, you stole from me. Just as if I walked into your home or work and took that money from your drawer. I still had to pay coworkers, I still had to pay taxes, and I still had to wait on you instead of the guy who would pay me and clean up your wreckage. I PAID MONEY TO WAIT ON YOU. You can pretty much guarentee who ever you are, I didn’t like it.

And the #1 thing waiters wish they could tell you: IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD THE TIP, YOU CAN’T AFFORD THE MEAL!